To the Consulate

Yesterday we made our long awaited trip to the American Consulate. All of our papers were in order. I'm still not sure what all the fuss was with the USCIS before we left Granger, but I'm happy to have Aubrey's immigration papers in hand.

When we arrived at the Consulate Aubrey became very anxious and started to panic. I wish I knew what was going through her head. I think, she thought we were going back to the orphanage. Someday soon she may tell us. She is already saying some words in English.

Her favorite words are flower, car, light and water. Yesterday she said her first complete sentence, "Where'd Gege(brother in Chinese) go? Chris said she also told him "Get Baba". She has a bit of mischief in her. Nate and Gabe she bit a fork at the table, you both know how much your Dad loves that.

We have stayed so long at the hotel, I have noticed Aubrey points to the stroller every time she is hungry. Wait til she sees the kitchen in our house and begins to realize that food is always available. The last few days she has been doing very well. She played in the Swan Room (a large playroom with Mattel toys) for almost 30-40 minutes last night. Anytime we took her there during the first 9 days she wanted to leave almost immediately. I'll try to include some video but we are having difficulty with the laptop incorporating the clips so it may be only pictures.

In the morning we leave here - Yeah!!!!! So back there in the USA, on Tues. night at 8:20 we fly to Tokyo, then to Detroit to land at 1:20 pm wed. I'm not sure how long it will take to get through immigrations but then we drive home. We should be home around 6pm Wed. night.
I see local temperatures are in the 70's, I can't wait. We are all so ready for Fall!!!

The Heat has Broken

Praise God, you can finally walk outside without melting. Last night was blessedly cooler and with a breeze. Our guide took us to the Qingping market, the largest herbal market in China.

Kelley said that pharmacists from all over China come to this market for their herbs to make their medicines. We saw dried seahorses, starfish, deer legs and more. There were alot of animals and even tubs full of live scorpions. Chris was thrilled with the market.

Then we walked into the down town area, like a Chinese Times Square. We ate at a Dim Sum restaurant. Aubrey ate a huge bowl of noodle soup. She looked like a tick ready to pop. When we got back to our room, she ate her first chocolate. She loved it! As you can see in the picture.

I think, and hope we have crossed the bridge, turned the corner with her. Today she has been pleasant and her eyes look bright. She was happy to see us all this morning. We decided to skip the tours today since we already went to pearl and jade markets in Beijing.

Tomorrow we get her visa at the consulate, Tuesday we pack! I'm so happy we are almost done here. Thanks for the kind comments, it's wonderful to have the support from home! Love you all. Kelley(sister) Happy Birthday! I have a wonderful present for you, another playmate for Emma.

Four More Days

I don't think either Dave or myself thought it would be this hard. Aubrey is having a very difficult time. Imagine living in a hotel room with 2 twin beds and a crib with 4 people. All we want is to get out of the room, once outside we want back in the room because of the unbearable heat.



I liken it to throwing a birthday party for ten 6 year olds. The games have all been played, the gifts opened and the cake and ice cream eaten, and there is another whole hour before the parents come back to claim their children. I have done everything I can think of to calm her and nothing helps for very long.



We do have windows of time where she is engaging and alot of fun. I am just feeling tapped and drained of patience. Please send prayers for Dave and I as patience is not a talent either of us possess.



We are both dreaming of our 2 boys at home, Hi Nate and Gabe, we miss you terribly. Sorry, can't get the pictures to work today.

Four more days

Visit to Shenzhen

Today we were lucky to visit the orphanage that Aubrey lived in for the last 3 years. It was about 2 and a half hours from Guangzhou. The typhoon was coming inward on the South China Sea so we had some rain on the way but overall the increased wind and slight drop in temperature was appreciated.

The orphanage was dreary and bleak from the outside. Once inside we found the heat unbearable. I now understand why Aubrey will not sleep with a blanket covering her. There is only 1 other family with our group. We visited their 4 year olds living quarters first. There were large rooms with row upon row of cribs with babies up to maybe 5 years old. After that age they are sent to kindergarten.

Next we saw Aubrey's wing on the 4th floor. I was appalled. The conditions on her wing were grim at best. It was all I could do to keep my emotions in check to ask the caregiver questions I had written in advance. Dave was the fortunate one. Aubrey clung to him like glue as soon as we arrived in the area where she had a preschool class. As soon as we began to climb the stairs to the 4th floor she panicked. Dave took her outside to wait while Chris and I finished the tour. If you can picture the images of the Romanian orphanages years ago as shown on tv, that is what our little girl lived in for 3 years. There were children from a few months to 16-17 years old on her wing. I didn't believe her nanny about the scratches on her face when we got Aubrey, after seeing the older children in varying degrees of mental and physical capabilities it became crystal clear how it happened.

The assistant director refused to allow us the memory books made by her teachers in the Half the Sky program. We were allowed to take pictures of the book, in pics of Aubrey as early as 9 months her little face is scratched up. She has quite the temper and will slap all of us if she doesn't get her way. Tonight when she was refusing to go to bed and Dave walked over to pick her up she cowered and covered her head with her arms as if he were about to strike her. We do not know what has been done to her but by her reactions and behaviors we are sure it wasn't always good. Please keep her in your prayers that she will heal with love and forget the traumas she experienced here. Dave and I both saw caregivers who loved and cared for her deeply so we know she did have some wonderful care here too. They do the best they can do. When there are 40 children and 2 nannies a lot can happen that shouldn't.

Altough smelling strongly of urine and being way to hot, the childrens indoor play areas were cheery. Dave and I were both impressed that all the classrooms had pianos in them. Pictured above is the actual crib Aubrey slept in.

On Monday I took Aubrey to her medical examination. She is running a temperature, and the docs found a heart murmur that was not previously documented. Thank God I have brought Motrin and antibiotics from home.

Tonight Miss Aubrey was feeling better. I think the trip to the orphanage helped her to be okay with us. She definitely did not want to stay there! She is Daddies girl for now, not wanting much to do with Chris or me. As long as she is attaching to one of us I am thrilled. Each day seems to get a tiny tiny bit easier. I never thought it possible to find a child more stubborn that Nate, but we managed to do just that. When I told Nate "She's more persistent than you", he just laughed.

For all the naysayers, Chris has done us proud, he has eaten: crayfish, herring ( whole, with head and eggs inside), dragonfruit, dried seaweed, fried pumpkin, chicken satay, possibly duck or pigeon(I know that it was not chicken!), and the list grows daily. He has only used the peanut butter 2 times on this trip so far!

Mandarin Lessons

Trying to learn Chinese on the fly. Should have done the Rosetta Stone program. Anyway, we are slowly finding ways to communicate. I was previously told that my daughter was going to have me wrapped around her little pinky. Guess what. That is exactly what has happened. When she has hold of something, she will not let it go. She can only point with her pinky finger for what she wants. Baba (me) is her servant.

She loves bacon, tomatoes, eggs, and congee (still not sure what that stuff is - rice gruel?) She has a temper! And she hates bath time!

We are definitely bonding very well. She is mostly smiles today. Especially when hitting Baba upside the head with a ball!

Hot is not a good word for the weather. Take the humidity from FL and put it in AZ then turn up the temp. Uhhgg! We did get to visit a temple and were allowed to take a few pics.

Table for Six Please

It's final. We are now a family of 6. In Chinese tradition, the number 6 means "smooth and easy." The only thing smooth yesterday was the floor in the room where she was handed over to us. It was a cold, isolating place in which Aubrey was terrified.

She cried for 3 hours straight, which we were hoping for. This was a great sign that she was able to form attachments and be able to form more in her future. It was very surreal. It was nothing as I would have imagined. Right now she is a mama's girl. At rare moments, Aubrey will let baba (me) hold her until mama gets her shoes on. Then it's back to mama. That's ok. She will get used to me eventually. She is starting to smile a little today. Last night, she laughed after she burped. I guess she will fit in perfectly with three boys.

Thank you all for such supportive and thoughtful comments. They have meant alot!

I tried to add a few extra pics for you to enjoy. Tomorrow I will try some video.

Welcome To Family Day

Aubrey Jian Hua Haghiri

No time to write. Here she is. A real Doll!!

FROM THE GREAT WALL TO GUANGZHOU

Wow! What more can I say. We visited the Ming tombs early Tue morning. I was impressed by the size, however Mongol troops had destroyed much of the tombs and taken away what treasure was there. The Chinese government replicated the tombs for tourism, some domestic travelers were very revering in the presence of the faux Emperors tombs, Chris was astonished at the money thrown around the relics.

The biggest and most exciting part of our trip so far, the imposing Great Wall! We spent over an hour to walk a short way. The Wall curves and bends around the mountain ranges and the inclines are at times 45 degrees. We were panting along with the other climbers. We saw a lot of Paraolympians climbing as well. We just kept repeating "I can't believe we are on the Great Wall!" We also were amazed that it was all made without the help of modern machinery, we marveled at the thought that mere men carried each and every brick for placement. Our guide, Joy, said that in China, the Great Wall is also known as China's biggest cemetery.

As I write this we are now in Guangzhou. Thoughts of the Great Wall have now been replaced with the thoughts of Aubrey. In less than 24 hours we will meet our daughter. I have everything unpacked in our very small hotel room, dresses, bubble bath, blankets, and a baby doll. The temperatures are even hotter than I imagined. Our new guide, Kelley, says that there are 2 seasons in Guangzhou, hot and hotter. We are definitely in hotter! Chris even complained that the air outside is too stuffy. The hotel upgraded us to a room on the Pearl River. We are enjoying the views from our air conditioned room. ( For those of you who know me well, you know it has to be pretty darn hot for me to complain!)

Last Big Sign

Less than 3 weeks before leaving for China I received a letter from the USCIS, stating that our 2 page addendum for a special needs child was inadequate. We were informed to complete our 4th home study in 2 years time. We pled with the USCIS that there was not enough time to finish a home study before leaving by email, we received no response. Having no control over the situation, I decided to ask the for help from another mother. I said in a short prayer to the Blessed Mary, " You know this is such a tangled mess, I can't sort it out. Please fix this for me, you know this child needs a home."

That night when I went to work, it was the opening ceremony for the Beijing Olympics. My patient wanted to watch the extravaganza instead of getting hooked up for her test. I was becoming annoyed with her very rapidly. During her hookup she told me she had adopted both of her children in the fifties. She explained about closed adoptions and the effects on her now grown children. I told her of our plans to adopt and she immediately changed her attitude toward me.

When it was time for lights out this patient asked me what I planned to name my little girl. I told her about the song and the book, and how we decided to adopt because of a character named Aubrey. She told me I just caused her to have goose bumps. She just finished reading a book that week, in it the little girls name was Aubrey. I asked her if the book was by Nora Roberts, and it was indeed the same book that I had read 10 years prior.

I found out next that this same patient was not scheduled for a test that night. Someone had cancelled and she was called in at the last minute! I told her before I turned the lights out that she was my sign. I have no worries about the paperwork now. All of those coincidences were worked out in the few hours I slept before work. We are absolutely in good hands.

Digging China

As Chris said, “I can’t believe I’m in China. I feel like I’m in a dream.” Our 24 hours of travel by car and plane have brought us safely to Beijing. Backlash from Ike made for a turbulent few hours outside of Detroit but we managed to fly north of the jet stream. The plane food was surprisingly “good.” At least Dave and I thought so. Chris, on the other hand, actually ate BBQ’d beef and later an omlette WITH CHEESE. When asked what he thought of breakfast, he said, “ I’m ambivalent.” Good thing we are toting a jar of peanut butter.
We were met last night by our guide, Joy and by thunderstorms. Joy said that we have come to Beijing at the best possible time of the year. She said the autumn is known here as the Golden Time. She has lined up the city tour for today. After a quick breakfast we will see the Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven and The Summer Palace. We are all very anxious to begin the trip.

Next Signs
We have talked many times to our neighbors directly to the left of our house, Sue and Craig Chang. I was under the false idea that they were from Korea. Of course now it seems obvious that Chang is not a Korean name, but you can imagine my surprise when Sue told me her native tongue is Chinese. She and her husband emigrated here from Taiwan. Sue offered her assistance in translation when we return providing that Aubrey speaks Mandarin and not Cantonese. How could that have been planned any better?
A few weeks before leaving, Gabe was playing with his friend Greg. Greg had forgotten to let his mother know where he was going. She walked down the street to find him at our house. She and I became engaged in conversation that led to talk of the adoption. Her husband was at that time in China, not far from where we would be going. When he arrived back in the states he had a wealth of information and ideas to make our trip easier. He brought us a phone and headphones enabling us to keep in contact with our boys while we are here. Our endless thanks to Bob and Camille for that.
Who knew, after living here for 6 years, these same neighbors would be just who and where we needed them. I think we can all figure it out by now, God knew.

The Long Wait

Fourth Sign

After China received our dossier, the paperchase was finished. We were now part of the referral stage. The wait had been lengthing each month. When we sent in our first application, the wait times were 10 - 11 months for referral. (Referral, means you have been matched with a child.) Our dossier sat in a pile with all the other new dossiers waiting to be logged in to the CCAA's system. Our official log in date was Feb 5, 2007. While I write this, the CCAA has only matched dossiers logged in up till Feb. 2, 2006. They are 2 and a half years behind currently, and the wait continues to grow.

In April 2008, all of our documents required by the US Citizens and Immigrations, expired. We had to update our home study and get refingerprinted. We sent our updates to the USCIS in early May. A few days later I had coffee with Julia. She strongly advised Dave and I to apply for the special needs "Waiting Children". With no end to the defeating wait, we looked into the different categories of special needs. After gathering all the information possible, we completed the seemingly endless application for GWCA's Waiting Child on May 7.

Dave and I went on with life thinking we would not hear anything for a long while. Mon. May 19, my cell phone rang. Stephanie from GWCA wanted to tell me about a little girl almost 3 years old, named JianHua, whom she thought would be a good match for us. Stephanie had pulled and locked this girl's file from CCAA's shared list. She explained we had 48 hours to decide. Dave was in Tennessee for all but 12 hours of that time.

It was overwhelming, reading a paper file, looking at a few pictures, talking to Dave over the phone. I made an appointment with my Doctor to discuss JianHua's medical issues. After talking to him and several other people Dave and I continued to be hesitant.

Our middle son Christopher looked at the picture of JianHua and emotionally asked "How can you say no to her when she has already been abandoned once?" Indeed! It occurred to me that JianHua's file, for what ever reason had not been released until Dave and I were willing to open our hearts to the possibility. Less than 2 weeks transpired between our change in plans and the life altering phone call from Stephanie. Could it be that God was waiting all this time too? Patiently waiting for us to be ready to accept the blessing he created for us.

We just received our updated itinerary for Guangzhou, you can look forward to seeing pictures from the following places and events

9-18 Meeting Aubrey
9-19 Adoption registration and paperwork
9-20 Visit Shenzhen and Aubrey's orphanage, interviews with her caretakers
9-21 Sightseeing to Chen family Temple
9-22 Sightseeing tour to Six Banyan Trees
9-23 Sightseeing tour to Yun Tai Garden
9-24 Sightseeing to Zhong Shan Memorial Hall
9-25 through 9-27 paperwork appointments and medical exams
9-28 Tour to Zoo
9-29 Free time
9-30 American Consulate, finalize adoption, get Aubrey's visa for USA
10-1 HOME

The Three Masters

Depicted in one of my favorite artworks " The Vinegar Tasters", are China's Three Masters. Surprisingly, all three men were living at the same time around 500 BC. Confucius, Buddha, and Lao Tzu each contributed threads of their beliefs that have been woven together forming the tapestry of Chinese religion.

Confucius thought life was sour and that mankind was not in harmony with Heaven. He taught morality and responsibility in life, to find balance in the universe. An excerpt from "The Analets of Confucius" dated c400 BC states: Do not do unto others, what you would not want others to do to you.

Buddha finds life to bitter and full of suffering. During his search for enlightenment Buddha found the path to Nirvana. He found human suffering could end if people stopped wanting. Many devout Buddhist believe to find peace, you must transcend the "dust of the world"

A proverb of Buddha found in an ancient text dated 100 BC states: Hatreds never cease in this world, by love alone they cease.

Lao Tzu taught through his writing in the "Tao Te Ching". He believed that harmony between heaven and earth has always existed from the very beginning. He felt you could find happiness by changing the way you look at things. As stated in the Tao: Earth is a reflection of heaven, run by the same laws - not by the laws of men. The more man interfers with the balance of nature, the further harmony retreats into the distance.

Dave and I have been becoming increasingly anxious with these last few days to go. I have found some comfort in the sage words above and those that follow:

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!

Oh The Places We'll Go

The more I try to learn about China, the more I realize I know nothing. The enormity of information is staggering, so I'll just leave my cliff notes.

China has the worlds oldest people and the longest continuous civilization. It is the third largest country in terms of area, and is the

largest in population, at over 1.2 billion people.

Some of China's inventions known around the world are: paper, compass, gunpowder, and written language (a little know fact-China also is host to the only ever recorded written language used solely by and for women). They also lay claim in history to windmills, the telescope, the calender, the animal zodiac, fermented beverages, noodles, pottery, silk, coffins, maps, toothbrushes, fireworks, kites, playing cards, golf and umbrellas. I just had to include this as well, the Chinese are the first documented people to use both the blast furnace and cupola furnace, develop metallurgy and steel production, and to use co-fusion in the creation of sword blades.

We will travel to Beijing first, which was formerly known as Peking. The Peking man fossil found here dates back 250,000 years ago. The Forbidden City was built during the Ming Dynasty. Construction began in 1406, along with that of the Temple of Heaven (shown opposite). Tiananmen Square was made in 1651. Wow, and to think the government of U.S.A. has existed for just over 200 years.

Next is a flight straight down to Guangzhou. Guangzhou is the third largest city in China, behind Shanghai and Beijing. It is also well known by the English name Canton. History dates civilization in the area of Guangzhou back to 214BC. Guangzhou is a port city on the Pearl River which is navigable to the South China Sea. The average temperature in Guangzhou during September is 87-92 degrees. The picture shows the White Swan Hotel where we will be staying for most of our trip.

Aubrey lives in Shenzhen. This onetime hilly fishing village is now a bustling city boasting China's busiest transportation system. It is located directly north of Hong Kong on the Tropic of Cancer. The average temperatures for Shenzhen in September is 88 degrees. Being on the South China Sea, Shenzhen is occasionally subjected to typhoons in late summer and autumn. I found it interesting that 20% of China's PhD's dwell in Shenzhen. The rest of the population is primarily migrant workers with little education. It is probably a safe bet that Aubrey's birth parents were part of the migrant work force looking to give her a better quality life than they could provide.

As stated before we are arriving in Beijing on the September 14, this years Autumn Moon Festival in China. During this research I found that we are leaving on China's National Day, October 1. This would be comparable to our Fourth of July. It so conveniently ties in with all the concurrent events thus far. I'm seeing another old cement mile marker, only a few miles are left.

Third Sign

What is the most incomparable, special, joyous, magical day of the year?

After switching to GWCA, I dug my feet in and began collecting all the documents necessary for a complete dossier. It took me 4 months to get everything. Birth certificates and our marriage license were originated in Ohio had to be authenticated in New York City. Everything from Indiana had to be authenticated in Chicago. There were frequently long waits before we could move on to the next part of the paper chase. Finally, in November we received approval from the United States Citizens and Immigration Services to adopt an orphan from China.

I sent the now completed dossier to GWCA. I was contacted and told our paperwork was being sent to China in the bundle leaving Dec. 17, 2006. Eight days later we were emailed that the CCAA accepted our dossier on December 25, 2006. Christmas day the most incomparable, special, joyous and magical day of the year!